The Pain of Investing in People Who Hurt You – Banji Alabi Esq
The Pain of Investing in People Who Hurt You – Banji Alabi Esq
…Betrayal at the Table, Lessons from Leadership and Faith…….
January 30th, 2026, was my birthday, and I’m sharing this message to celebrate
“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
THE PAIN OF INVESTING IN PEOPLE WHO HURT YOU
“Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.” — Psalm 41:9
There’s a kind of pain that no training can prepare you for—the pain of pouring into people who turn and wound you. This isn’t the pain of criticism from afar; it’s the anguish of betrayal by those who came into your house, sat at your table, ate your food, drank your wine, entered your bedroom, and took your money—people who once called you “Leader,” “mentor,” “brother,” and “comrade.”
They were the ones you believed in when others saw nothing. You counseled them in private, covered their weaknesses, gave out of your own pocket, and went without for their sake. You supported them, promoted them, and stood with them in crisis. But when the winds of offense blew in, they turned out of envy and jealousy. – “Success Breeds Enemies “
They forgot your sacrifices, misrepresented your motives, shared your private conversations as gossip, joined hands with those who defamed you, exaggerated your weaknesses, and ignored your wounds.
This isn’t just betrayal; it’s the pain of leadership. It’s the pain of watching a fellow dishonor a house that raised him. It’s the pain of betrayal of a revolution that would have transformed the city. Great sacrifices and services go unthanked, unacknowledged, and sometimes dishonored.
Jesus experienced this: “He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him.” (John 1:11) Judas betrayed Him with a kiss. Peter denied Him with words. The disciples scattered when He needed them most.
Ministry will require you to love like Jesus—to wash the feet of those who’ll later walk away, to feed those who’ll forget you, to bless those who’ll betray you. And still, keep your heart free from bitterness.
Some people who hurt you will sit under your roof, eat your food, drink your wine, and take your money at the next opportunity. Some will try to compete with the platform you gave them. Others will speak as though you did nothing for them.
But, man or woman of God, you’re not alone. This has happened before. Moses was betrayed by the people he delivered. Paul was abandoned by his sons in ministry (2 Timothy 4:10). David was hunted by Saul after serving him loyally.
“For Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world…” (2 Timothy 4:10)
“All those in Asia have turned away from me…” (2 Timothy 1:15)
Here’s your encouragement: Heaven keeps better records than men. God never forgets your labor of love. When they forget, He remembers. When they slander, He justifies. When they leave, He remains.
Don’t curse what you once covered. Don’t lose your tears—they’re still holy. Don’t stop loving. Keep pouring into people, even when it’s hard. Because in the end, it’s not about the people who hurt you—it’s about the God who loves you.
You are not alone. You are seen. You are remembered. And you are loved.
_Keep loving, keep leading. You will succeed._
Banji Alabi, Esq. 🎉
