How I Found Myself In Polygamy”, Hadiza Shares Surprising Twist In Her Marriage To Nasir El-rufai
“How I Found Myself In Polygamy”, Hadiza Shares Surprising Twist In Her Marriage To Nasir El-rufai
Hadiza Isma El-rufai, first wife of former Kaduna state governor, Nasir El-rufai, waded into ongoing debate on polygamy on Nigeria’s social media community.
The former first lady of Kaduna State through her X account highlighted how her Islamic faith and that of her husband impacted her marriage. According to her, she grew up in a monogamous home contrary to her husband’s, Nasir El-rufai who was born into a polygamous family. She explained that when she and Nasir El-rufai were planning marriage, though they never discussed the possibility of his marrying another woman as a second wife, she however didn’t expect that Nasir El-rufai would do so.
“My husband was raised in a polygamous family, while I, by contrast, grew up in a monogamous one. When we agreed to get married, I envisaged a monogamous marriage, even though the subject was never discussed”.
She further explained that she accepted polygamy not by absolute choice but due to her husband’s. She added that though she married via Islamic marriage rite which grants her the right to leave her marriage when she feels so but she chose to stay.
“Now I find myself in a polygamous marriage, not by choice initially, but subsequently by choice. I say ‘not by choice initially’ because the transformation of our marriage from a monogamous one to a polygamous one was my husband’s choice and not mine. I say ‘subsequently by choice’ because deciding to remain in the marriage was my choice and nobody else’s.
We got married under Islamic law and under that law, a woman reserves the right to opt out of a marriage, even without giving a reason. One condition, though, is that she must return the dowry that was paid to her. (Could that have influenced my decision to stay? Because, frankly, by that time, I don chop my dowry clean mouth. LOL).
She thereafter highlighted the benefits of polygamy to the first wife, stating freedom for self-care and career growth, care for one’s children as well as minimal disturbance from inlaws.
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